Open the Eyes of My Heart

Unfortunately, fundamental change rarely comes quickly; even more rarely does it come easily (sure, it happens sometimes, but I don’t think it’s something to bank on). If we want to change our hearts so that we are devoted to creating and nurturing just and righteous relationships, it will take time and practice. And it’s going to take God’s help.

Since the beginning of time, many who have acknowledged their faith in God have done things to cultivate an ever-closer relationship with their Creator-Deliverer-Redeemer (depending on the timeframe, God has been characterized as all three and more!). The recognition is that God is vast and incomprehensible, so it takes some effort on our part to stay close – the world around us is distracting (Carl Jung once wrote that “Hurry is not of the Devil; it is the Devil.” Amen that!); God isn’t always in our face, and is therefore easy to neglect; and the every day slog of relationship building can be dull. Look at the relationships we have with people we see every day – our relationship with God is no different; we just don’t see God staring back at us from across the breakfast table.

But if we want the strength, courage, motivation, and desire to nurture justice and righteousness we need to be able to see God staring back at us – certainly from the faces of the people we know and love, but more importantly from the faces of the people we don’t even see.

For me, they’re the folks I pass on the street, anyone who wants my attention if I’m in a hurry or if my mind is focused somewhere else, people I meet when I’m cranky or tired. I might have a conversation with the person (probably I won’t), but I won’t hear a thing and I certainly won’t see the person as God’s creation or my brother/sister in God’s humanity.

We’ll talk about systemic injustices and how we can affect them on a large scale later this week (maybe next week?), but for now, I want to focus on how we relate to the people we come in contact with every day. Think of it as training to tackle large-scale injustice. We're walking before we run. . .

So, how do we reach the point where we can see God staring back at us from others? And how does seeing God in others help us to build whole relationships? I think we take the first question today and the second question tomorrow. Seeing God in others takes five steps:

1. Learn What God Looks Like: You learn this by reading scripture, so you get a feel for how God works in the world; and praying, so you get a feel for how God communicates with you. As this relationship become stronger, the rest of it becomes easier. I know you don’t believe me, but I promise it’s true! Just take 5 minutes over lunch, go to www.biblegateway.com and read their passage of the day. I always read the whole chapter to get more context; but just read it and ask yourself what God would have you learn from that passage on this particular day. Seriously, it takes 5 minutes;
2. Talk to God: Ask for God to keep you attentive and receptive to seeing others. I’m going to do this every morning when I’m out walking my dog, and then again at lunch – just so I remember. I have to admit, I’m going to put it in my Palm Pilot so I don’t forget!;
3. Do a Little Self-Examination: Identify your own ‘blind spots’ (who don’t you see?) This a great thing to pray about – if you ask God who is invisible to you, God will direct your thoughts to those people;
4. Practice a Little Humility: Accept that while you are distinct (and absolutely perfect in your uniqueness), you are just like everyone else, including those people you never see. I am just as needy as the folks who come up asking me for things; I am just as scared and insecure as the rude person who lashes out at me for no good reason; etc.
5. Practice Empathy: Accept people where they are. No one has to please us or meet our standards to be okay. People get to be who they are, and they get to suffer through whatever pain and hardship they’re facing. If we can accept that, we can accept them. Then we don’t see what we don’t like about people anymore; we just see people. Then it’s just a small skip to move from seeing a person to seeing a child of God.

I suggest we concentrate on these five actions to get our hearts right for building whole relationships. They’re not bad ideas just for life in general, but we’re going to focus on how they relate to our seeing the people we ignore. And here’s the thing – the goal is not perfection. The goal is persistence. If we beat ourselves up every time we don’t get it exactly right, we’re just spending a lot of time tearing ourselves down. That’s counter-productive. Rather, let’s spend some of our time in prayer asking God why we slipped and what we can do the next time. Then let’s just keep plugging. I would be surprised if there were any monumental changes overnight, so let’s just focus on building the pattern.

Here is some scripture we can focus on today:

Do not judge, and you will not be judged; do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap; for the measure you give will be the measure you get back. Luke 6: 37-38

Now remember, Jesus isn’t saying ‘do good and God will give you goodies’. Jesus is saying that whole relationships are mutually nurturing – you put another person’s needs before your own and you help build a culture where others put your needs before their own. Don’t read this scripture through materialistic eyes; read through the eyes of one who seeks wholeness in creation.

[Quick note: I made a commitment to my Bible study friends that I would post 5 times a week during Advent – thinking about this stuff is how I’m staying focused on God each day. I trust that staying focused will help me to see God in the people I meet. So you guys better be reading to make sure I’m doing it!].

Love,

Becky